Hypocrite and a Pharisee

I named my blog my box of junk because what may be junk to you is memories for me. My mind is kind of like my box only instead of old toys or cards or physical reminders of a memory they are memories, thoughts and stories. They may seem silly to you but to me they do mean a lot.

I have been thinking lately about myself and Christianity and Church in general for the past few weeks. In my LPG (leadership prayer group) at my school we are going through the book Radical by David Platt. I as a Christian today am a Pharisee of the highest water. In the time of Jesus the Pharisee's were men who fulfilled the law and walked around with their heads held high praying and on the outside were the most spiritual Godly men in the world. But on the inside they were full of deceit and they loved money and themselves and they seemed like they didn't really care about those whom they were supposed to be leading, the law was their god and they were its slave. Today I was hit with the sickening reality that I am the same way.
I sit here thinking to myself that I have made my Jesus not the man who is God who came to save me from my sins and wants me to serve him by denying everything, instead I have made him the all loving god who fits into my viewpoint... I do not serve in a way to willingly let go of everything that is holding me back and stopping me from serving. I hold on to my pet sins screaming in His face I want them I like them they aren't that bad! I enjoy sliding through the muck of sin and pretending that I don't get dirty.
But I am realizing that if I truly want to call myself a Christian I have to stop pretending. I have to stop following after the world and the worlds plan for how my life should turn out and instead listen to the voice that tells me to give up what I want most to serve Him better.  I want to stop being the Pharisee who wants the best and walk around with an attitude of I am better then you because of this and lists off a long list of accomplishments, instead I want to be the radical Christ follower who truly understands who Jesus is and what it means to follow Him.
This is my prayer, to deny me. To deny the selfish craving that I have this will be a slow and very painful process. This is going to hurt and I know there will be times I will give up and have to start all over. There will be times that I succeed. I hope that I can become a true Christian.
Peace to you.

Birthday

Today was my 21st birthday :) and what a great day! Being away from home and my family saddened me a bit but my "family" here at school filled the small hole in my heart with the love and birthday wishes. I was taken out to dinner by one of my new best friends and then my roommates surprised me with a little party. :) I have to say the surprise party couldn't have been a better ending to a birthday. My roommates are the best, they even decorated the room in streamers and balloons and they put a party hat on my stuffed bunny. I also received two bottles of sparkling grape juice one bottle was from my SLD's. I am too excited and joyful to sleep. My heart is completely overflowing with happiness and I am so grateful to have made the friends that I have. I don't think I have ever been more blessed in my life. These memories will last a lifetime. My classes today were great, I even understand my math lesson which is surprising because math and I do not get along, I even met a couple of new people. I am going to head off now and watch one of the movies I received for my birthday. Peace to you.

Hey I am Tasha, I have never written a blog before so this will be my first attempt. I have to write about a few things for a class that I am taking at the University I am going to. Maybe later on I will write more. I am going into the field of Psychology and am as one of my professors lovingly dubbed me, a Psyco. I am incredibly thrilled to see what this semester in school has in store for me. I am already loving classes and slowly going getting back into the daily grind of school life. Peace to you.